Over thinking. Putting on a mask & bringing the alter ego to life. Building a wall so high, knowing no one is gonna break it down. Replaying the past knowing it's not gonna change anything, but just make you upset.
There is no beauty in the attempt of breaking down this wall. It's either you break it or you leave it alone.
Then you wonder, have you made a difference in anyone's life? Or are you a figment of their imagination because you wonder if you are real.
Putting other people aside, have you made a difference for yourself? Have you grown? When you broke, did you heal or are you walking around with scars that you're desperately trying to hide?
Songs trigger memories, songs saving you from that black hole. Waking up the next day, putting all this behind.
Dying for change, but then you don't know where to start? Where is the support system? Do you have a team helping you through all of this? If you do, good. If you don't, you're gonna have to learn to pick yourself up.
You're the superhero for everyone else but where is your hero? Where's the one or two that should be there for you?
Sunday, April 7, 2013
I'm done.
Over thinking. Putting on a mask & bringing the alter ego to life. Building a wall so high, knowing no one is gonna break it down. Replaying the past knowing it's not gonna change anything, but just make you upset.
There is no beauty in the attempt of breaking down this wall. It's either you break it or you leave it alone.
Then you wonder, have you made a difference in anyone's life? Or are you a figment of their imagination because you wonder if you are real.
Putting other people aside, have you made a difference for yourself? Have you grown? When you broke, did you heal or are you walking around with scars that you're desperately trying to hide?
Songs trigger memories, songs saving you from that black hole. Waking up the next day, putting all this behind.
Dying for change, but then you don't know where to start? Where is the support system? Do you have a team helping you through all of this? If you do, good. If you don't, you're gonna have to learn to pick yourself up.
You're the superhero for everyone else but where is your hero? Where's the one or two that should be there for you?
There is no beauty in the attempt of breaking down this wall. It's either you break it or you leave it alone.
Then you wonder, have you made a difference in anyone's life? Or are you a figment of their imagination because you wonder if you are real.
Putting other people aside, have you made a difference for yourself? Have you grown? When you broke, did you heal or are you walking around with scars that you're desperately trying to hide?
Songs trigger memories, songs saving you from that black hole. Waking up the next day, putting all this behind.
Dying for change, but then you don't know where to start? Where is the support system? Do you have a team helping you through all of this? If you do, good. If you don't, you're gonna have to learn to pick yourself up.
You're the superhero for everyone else but where is your hero? Where's the one or two that should be there for you?
Friday, March 22, 2013
Wish list 2013
What's going on? Hope your Friday is treating you well. Last night I was thinking of my wish list that I made way back in 2007. In the list I had wrote places to travel to & things to buy. Never in my life I would have imagined to have actually accomplished some of those things. I'll post it up next week because I wrote like 50 items *bahaha*
So, for 2013, here is the brand new & improved wish list:
So, for 2013, here is the brand new & improved wish list:
- Learn to surf
- Act in a short film. Try 5 different types of characters.
- Start swimming again.
- Learn to play the guitar.
- Start playing the piano again
- Trip to Africa, to see some actual wild life.
- Learn to cook (finish cooking 1 book of Jamie Oliver)
- Meet Chad Michael Murray
- Meet Shay Mitchell
- Play Nerf with Michelle Rodriguez
I think 1, 3-7 should be pretty easy. The acting one would take some time but it could work. 8,9,10 must happen :P be it in Malaysia or in the US.
So what is the 10 things on your wish list?
Wish list 2013
What's going on? Hope your Friday is treating you well. Last night I was thinking of my wish list that I made way back in 2007. In the list I had wrote places to travel to & things to buy. Never in my life I would have imagined to have actually accomplished some of those things. I'll post it up next week because I wrote like 50 items *bahaha*
So, for 2013, here is the brand new & improved wish list:
So, for 2013, here is the brand new & improved wish list:
- Learn to surf
- Act in a short film. Try 5 different types of characters.
- Start swimming again.
- Learn to play the guitar.
- Start playing the piano again
- Trip to Africa, to see some actual wild life.
- Learn to cook (finish cooking 1 book of Jamie Oliver)
- Meet Chad Michael Murray
- Meet Shay Mitchell
- Play Nerf with Michelle Rodriguez
I think 1, 3-7 should be pretty easy. The acting one would take some time but it could work. 8,9,10 must happen :P be it in Malaysia or in the US.
So what is the 10 things on your wish list?
Thursday, March 21, 2013
You may say I'm dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
After watching an episode of Sesame Street back in 1993, I decided that I wanted to be a Vet. I wanted to help animals as much as I could. Years went by and the only time I didn't want to be a vet was when I could not get into Form 6 to do my studies locally.
The last I checked, to study veterinary science overseas was really expensive. I don't know how much it is now, but then again, it would not make a difference.
When I did not resit my SPM (i wanted to do it a year later, trying to study for it la), my brother said "Go & give Mass communications a shot." I did, I liked it, it's interesting & it is not for stupid people. LOL.
However, with my diploma in Mass communications and my passion for animals, the new dream job became a wild life film maker. I love making videos & animals, so BOOM = kick ass job. I may not be able to do it just yet, but I can film the wild animal I own, who goes by the name of Pepsi. haha, she's my dog by the way.
Back to the title, I love to dream big, because hey, it's my dream to do these things. It's my expectation for myself & I must find a way to meet my own expectations, because it would make me happy, saying I can do something and actually achieving it. *thumbs up*
Dream big, dream wild because it's your dream. Don't give up when the whole world is against you. Dust off the sand & stand strong, you know you can do it ;)
The last I checked, to study veterinary science overseas was really expensive. I don't know how much it is now, but then again, it would not make a difference.
When I did not resit my SPM (i wanted to do it a year later, trying to study for it la), my brother said "Go & give Mass communications a shot." I did, I liked it, it's interesting & it is not for stupid people. LOL.
However, with my diploma in Mass communications and my passion for animals, the new dream job became a wild life film maker. I love making videos & animals, so BOOM = kick ass job. I may not be able to do it just yet, but I can film the wild animal I own, who goes by the name of Pepsi. haha, she's my dog by the way.
Back to the title, I love to dream big, because hey, it's my dream to do these things. It's my expectation for myself & I must find a way to meet my own expectations, because it would make me happy, saying I can do something and actually achieving it. *thumbs up*
Dream big, dream wild because it's your dream. Don't give up when the whole world is against you. Dust off the sand & stand strong, you know you can do it ;)
You may say I'm dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
After watching an episode of Sesame Street back in 1993, I decided that I wanted to be a Vet. I wanted to help animals as much as I could. Years went by and the only time I didn't want to be a vet was when I could not get into Form 6 to do my studies locally.
The last I checked, to study veterinary science overseas was really expensive. I don't know how much it is now, but then again, it would not make a difference.
When I did not resit my SPM (i wanted to do it a year later, trying to study for it la), my brother said "Go & give Mass communications a shot." I did, I liked it, it's interesting & it is not for stupid people. LOL.
However, with my diploma in Mass communications and my passion for animals, the new dream job became a wild life film maker. I love making videos & animals, so BOOM = kick ass job. I may not be able to do it just yet, but I can film the wild animal I own, who goes by the name of Pepsi. haha, she's my dog by the way.
Back to the title, I love to dream big, because hey, it's my dream to do these things. It's my expectation for myself & I must find a way to meet my own expectations, because it would make me happy, saying I can do something and actually achieving it. *thumbs up*
Dream big, dream wild because it's your dream. Don't give up when the whole world is against you. Dust off the sand & stand strong, you know you can do it ;)
The last I checked, to study veterinary science overseas was really expensive. I don't know how much it is now, but then again, it would not make a difference.
When I did not resit my SPM (i wanted to do it a year later, trying to study for it la), my brother said "Go & give Mass communications a shot." I did, I liked it, it's interesting & it is not for stupid people. LOL.
However, with my diploma in Mass communications and my passion for animals, the new dream job became a wild life film maker. I love making videos & animals, so BOOM = kick ass job. I may not be able to do it just yet, but I can film the wild animal I own, who goes by the name of Pepsi. haha, she's my dog by the way.
Back to the title, I love to dream big, because hey, it's my dream to do these things. It's my expectation for myself & I must find a way to meet my own expectations, because it would make me happy, saying I can do something and actually achieving it. *thumbs up*
Dream big, dream wild because it's your dream. Don't give up when the whole world is against you. Dust off the sand & stand strong, you know you can do it ;)
Friday, March 15, 2013
Emotions
Welcome to another Friday Filler, written on a Saturday posted on Friday because I'm awesome like that. The reason I couldn't post this on Friday, was simply because I was cleaning my room & got too tired to write. It's about time I start scheduling my post, prepare them way before hand.
So, let's jump into today's post : Emotions.
My buddy Juria is conducting a study on emotions & it got me thinking about the range of emotions I go through. There is the obvious Anger, the occasional Sad, the almost around Happy, the rare Fear and the everyday Neutral.
The everyday Neutral - Wake up in the morning, switch on the PC, watch a whole load of Pretty Little Liars, Charmed, One Tree Hill episodes, have food, eat, sleep, shower.
The rare Fear - When my dad had his 3rd heart attack. You don't know if he's gonna make it or not. If he doesn't, how does the dynamics of the family change? I sure as hell need to get job. :/ He survived the attack & is doing well, but whenever I get nervous about anything, I always remember the scariest day of my life, which was the day my dad his 3rd heart attack.
The almost around Happy - When I eat something awesome, when I laugh till I can't breathe, when I get something done. I want to be happy more often & I'm looking forward to make it happen.
The occasional Sad - Days that I would cry myself to sleep. Losing people, wondering why am I so messed up. Why am I not good enough. This usually hits me before I go to bed & it's so annoying trying to cry it out and/or sleep. I thank God I haven't felt this way in a long time. Progress! *thumbs up*
The obvious Anger - Is it odd that I'm tired of being angry? If I'm angry when I'm on the road, I end up driving a tad bit reckless. I know its a danger to me & others especially but I flip out, like the hulk. It's bad & I don't like it. Worst thing is, what calms me down is usually a root beer float and it's not around when I need it. Seems like I should invest in a chiller, a big mug and crates of Root Beer. Swing by a McDonalds & get some ice cream lol. It drains my energy, being angry at times. I also end up losing my appetite when I'm mad. Not sure if that is a good thing.
What are your range of emotions & how do you deal with it? Let me know in the comments!
I find writing about it makes me feel calm. Talking to people helps, but if there is no one to listen to, smash your keyboard! x)
So, let's jump into today's post : Emotions.
My buddy Juria is conducting a study on emotions & it got me thinking about the range of emotions I go through. There is the obvious Anger, the occasional Sad, the almost around Happy, the rare Fear and the everyday Neutral.
The everyday Neutral - Wake up in the morning, switch on the PC, watch a whole load of Pretty Little Liars, Charmed, One Tree Hill episodes, have food, eat, sleep, shower.
The rare Fear - When my dad had his 3rd heart attack. You don't know if he's gonna make it or not. If he doesn't, how does the dynamics of the family change? I sure as hell need to get job. :/ He survived the attack & is doing well, but whenever I get nervous about anything, I always remember the scariest day of my life, which was the day my dad his 3rd heart attack.
The almost around Happy - When I eat something awesome, when I laugh till I can't breathe, when I get something done. I want to be happy more often & I'm looking forward to make it happen.
The occasional Sad - Days that I would cry myself to sleep. Losing people, wondering why am I so messed up. Why am I not good enough. This usually hits me before I go to bed & it's so annoying trying to cry it out and/or sleep. I thank God I haven't felt this way in a long time. Progress! *thumbs up*
The obvious Anger - Is it odd that I'm tired of being angry? If I'm angry when I'm on the road, I end up driving a tad bit reckless. I know its a danger to me & others especially but I flip out, like the hulk. It's bad & I don't like it. Worst thing is, what calms me down is usually a root beer float and it's not around when I need it. Seems like I should invest in a chiller, a big mug and crates of Root Beer. Swing by a McDonalds & get some ice cream lol. It drains my energy, being angry at times. I also end up losing my appetite when I'm mad. Not sure if that is a good thing.
What are your range of emotions & how do you deal with it? Let me know in the comments!
I find writing about it makes me feel calm. Talking to people helps, but if there is no one to listen to, smash your keyboard! x)
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